alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize