You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
