How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
