So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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