I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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