Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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