Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize