This girl is more easily done than said...
...so i touched it.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
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There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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