so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
