Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
