But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
