Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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