I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It's just like the Real World with babies
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
