Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
