why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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