Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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