I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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