I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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