pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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