A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
