i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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