I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
