you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.