We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....