i barfeds in our rink
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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