I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
