On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
