pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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