Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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