how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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