How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
