woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
