Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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