Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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