I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
