I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
