i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
