You're my little dorito
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
