so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
