Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
