I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
