just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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