Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
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Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
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Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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