new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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