hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I know her cup size but not her name....
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