operation have a gay friend backfired
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
