so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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