u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
