is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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