Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
