nut hugger
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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