Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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