Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
