(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
