Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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