I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
