i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
