I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
