butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
