guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
