What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
