Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
