...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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